Archives: Films

Lindsay Lohan, R.I.P or just get some rest…it is entirely up to her!!

Lindsay Lohan will either be the next deceased celeb on E! True Hollywood Stories or she can actually pull her life and her career together.  Unfortunately it looks like more of the former rather than the latter.  Lindsay’s drinking and drug use have become more blatant and desperate these days, and one would really hope her mom, dad, or siblings would just step in and end this foolishness.  This young lady had so much promise and she decided to trick it all away through unprofessional behavior, drugs, alcohol, and bedding any able hairy tom with a dick, sad.  She is barely 22 years-old and although I don’t care for her singing, acting, or desperate attempts at attention, I really would not want to see her die, especially being a parent.  But there isn’t much time left for her, it will be up to her to listen to her inner circle and professionals. Lindsay is a classic case of “little girl lost” and her life should be an example to all aspiring young actresses.  There are always heavy consequences to our actions.  Read

Posted in Celebrity Crap, Entertainment, Films, The Ridiculous, WTF | No Comments »

Yeah, she likes his acting and he loves her music!!

These two aren’t really  fooling anybody, not that they would be the type to care either way!  I sincerely hope that whichever idiot rag is claiming that it is on and poppin with Gerard Butler and Jennifer Aniston, would truly stop printing such lunacy.  Gerard Butler is um….how do I put this delicately, a whore, the unabashed version, although hooking up with present day Lindsay Lohan, not so much.  And as for the once and famous former pussycat doll, she has no genuine music career, and Formula One phenom, Louis whatshisname, ain’t trying to wife that, so it’s off to finding the hottest next thing to get her another five minutes in the spotlight.  Unless, I am horribly wrong and they are just friends….a hush comes over the crowd momentarily as the stadium erupts in uncontrolled laughter!!!!

Posted in Celebrity Crap, Entertainment, Films, Music, The Ridiculous | No Comments »

Mischa Barton is all better, just ask her…Next week stay tuned!!

mischa_barton_04_wenn252309Ready to start her movie that will no doubt be a real stinker, a temporarily plump Barton was released from her 5150 for “Skittles” issues.  I say kudos to the chain smoking headcase of a starlet, onward and upward!  She is no Robert Downey Jr. who had so many “Skittles” issues, that is as far as acting, but hopefully she will meet some nice young fan of Comic-Con that will whisk her away to a galaxy far far away.  One can only hope.  But foreelz, she needs to start making money or else her cracked team of PR people might have to start leaking the truth about her, nah, what am I saying, that neevvvveeerrr happens, wink wink.

Posted in BREAKING News, Celebrity Crap, Entertainment, Films, Ridickulous, WTF | No Comments »

Twilight of Virginity, the uniqueness of the porn industry continues!!

twiiii__optHey even the porn industry has taken a big hit during these economic downturn, but take heart the newest spinoff of the movie Twilight is poised to change of that.  Ok it probably won’t but for those of you that love it, enjoy and for those that don’t, don’t watch it.  Not a whole lot more to say, naked.

Posted in Celebrity Crap, Entertainment, Films, MorningWood, Of Interest, Poll of Poles, Side Boob Show | No Comments »

Anna Faris is the funny and cute girl next door, who smokes trees!!

00004fAnna Faris is as talented as she is down to earth, an attribute that many that have now “made it” don’t share with her!  She is one of those types of people that comes prepared to do a role, but doesn’t take herself too seriously and this is what people like myself find so attractive.  Not to mention she has a smoking hot body and she has to do some sort of working out, believe that!!  Also for all my readers that like to take a walk in the forest with Yogi and Booboo, you may catch her now and again walking with them as well and snacking on someone else’s picnic basket.  White, Black, Latina, Asian, I don’t care, women are one of God’s greatest creations, Thank You God!!  Read

Posted in Artsy Fartsy, Celossip women, Entertainment, Films, Funny, Side Boob Show, Woody | No Comments »

Michelle Rodriguez should have done this earlier!!

0106_michelle_rod_fame2After getting popped for a DUI what seems like ten years ago and giving some lame excuse as to why she couldn’t complete her community service, she is now paying her debt to society.  I loved Michelle in Girlfight, but unfortunately most of her movies have been one note and I would like to see her do comedy, she actually has a cute smile!  This industry is more about longevity and of course, talent doesn’t hurt, and she had better get on her horse and start evolving!  Thanks to TMZ for the pic.

Posted in Celebrity Crap, Celebrity Law&Odor, Entertainment, Films, Of Interest | No Comments »

Watch Clips From “Naylin Paylin”

OH MY GOD!!!! This is Awesome! An actual Clip from Naylin Paylin!

Posted in Artsy Fartsy, Films | No Comments »

Pics From The Set Of “Naylin Paylin”

And here we are ya’ll!  Some back stage photos of the porno all about your next Vice President who will be the President soon after they take office with 72 year-old McCain.  

Nothing really to see here, it’s all G-Rated but [TMZ] got their hands on a few shots that were taken during the filming of Larry Flynt’s masterpiece soon to be timeless classic. 

  

I’m going to go out on a limb here and say that Naylin Paylin will be the highest grossing Porno of all time when it hits the liquor store shelves.

 

Posted in Current Affairs, Films | No Comments »

“Naylin Paylin” Nina Hartley To Also Star In Hustler’s Sarah Palin Porno

  Oh well gosh darnit!! Looks like that Sarah Palin Porno is the ole fast track to completion, you betcha!  

 Lisa Ann (pictured) will play Sarah Palin and will encounter some Russians who want to get in through the backdoor.  She will also learn about the “Big Bang Theory” in the hustler larry Flynt produced porn.  

 Nina Hartley, will play Hilary Clinton, and there will also be a Condoleezza Rice look-a-like in the flick now titled “Naylin Paylin.”

 I like my title better, “Foreign policy, Pu’tin rears end”  But I’m not a billionaire porno king.

Posted in Current Affairs, Films, Oddball | No Comments »

Another reason to not go to the movies…Bloom and Knightley crap on horizon!!

Someone please tell me that the following is an example of dry British humor!  It seems as though someone has come up with the profound idea of doing a Saturday Night Fever remake for Keira Knightley and Orlando Bloom, except it will be set in England and not Brooklyn.  I can barely continue to type as my mind is drawing a blank and I feel like throwing my computer out of the window.  Two words, PURE SHIT!  Thank you.  Read

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Meg Ryan has Nicole Kidman face, but she is no fool!!

Meg Ryan is an actress and woman that I have always had respect for because of her attitude, personality, talent, and professionalism.  But knowing how this Industry can have such stark double standards for men and women, she provides her own plans for knowing when it’s time to call it quits, read.  I respect her decision, but I disagree with her as maybe you will no longer be the main attraction commanding huuuge dollars, but if you still love what you do, you can still do it and get paid.  Now you may just take more chances but exploring characterizations, such as the crazy neighbor in the fatsuit or the overbearing used car saleswoman.  Sometimes you have more fun when you don’t have to worry about carrying a film, just a thought.

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The Voice is gone but not forgotten!!

Don LaFontaine, uber movie trailer, movie, and commercial voice-over royalty has succombed to complications from a collapsed lung yesterday at the age of 68.  How apropos for a man to die on a day honoring the average hardworking man/woman, there was none more worthy with at least 400k commercial v/o’s under his belt!  There will never be one as dominant as he was, our condolences to his wife Nita and his family, friends and fans.  Godspeed brother.

Posted in Entertainment, Films, Shout Outs!, Television | No Comments »

Cher as the Catwoman?? That pussy is on her tenth life!!

Chris Nolan is a pretty darn good director as far as what he accomplished in the second Batman, however going to Cher as his first choice as Catwoman is a definite headscratcher.  I have tremendous respect for the sixty-two year-old singer, entertainer, and actress especially with how she keeps herself in tremendous shape.  Albeit she has more parts than Lindsay Wagner, she would be a feather in the cap for aging set of actresses that don’t get love.  What’s next, Jessica Lange as Poison Ivy?  I guess anything is fair game, but damn, Cher is 62!  62!  Read

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Tom Cruise is funny and NEEDS to shift gears, NOW!!

Tom Cruise may be extremely annoying with his insufferable PDA’s for Scientolocult, but he is a very entertaining actor because he puts 100% into every project he does.  Ok, Valkyrie is going to be a steaming pile of butt chowder, it is no secret and everyone that has seen the scenes knows it!  But after going to see Tropic Thunder this past weekend, he had me in stitches as did everyone, oh and by the way, IT IS A MOVIE PEOPLE, STOP BEING SO FUCKING SERIOUS!! Ben Stiller is a very compassionate guy, Simple Jack was extremely funny and just a poke at silly Hollywood films, if these advocacy groups want to be mad at someone, how about President Bush for the state of our education and the lack of funding for families with children with special needs.  Get those lobbyists off their ass in Washington, and get them to harassing people for funding!  In anycase, Tom needs to move to doing some ensemble pieces and some comedic pieces, but not too much, or else there will be a horrible backlash.  Come to think of it, the one thing this man doesn’t know is, moderation.  Any actor can become a huge star, but not every actor can attain longevity, and in Tom’s case, especially with his partner, now former partner Paula Wagner, exiting stage left, he had better be alot more mindful of his career moves.  Read

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Katie and her contract daddy do “Tropic Thunder” carpet!!

Oh there’s Tom and Katie Cruise, just your average turkey baster beard couple, giving good face for their adoring fans.  And what’t that I see, is it a baby bump, more like barley bloat or maybe he asked her if she wants to know what Will Smith taste like…fill in appropriate zinger.  I am pretty sure that this is a get the “rags” talking dress, and she has orders to look delighted by him and soo in love.  Still her worst acting gig to date, but the money is well worth it as she probably has about another five to ten years, then she is free.  I will need to search my archive to look at Nicole Kidman’s contract, but the whole, she is barren, and miscarried a child during their marriage, broke the contract.

Posted in Celebrity Crap, Entertainment, Films, Funny | No Comments »